Every January is somewhat bittersweet. Christmas comes down. Holiday festivities quickly dissolve into memories. Sale racks are ravaged (more sales this year than I've ever seen!). Gyms are packed with determined people finally committed to exercise and eating well (at least for a month. After all, aren't we so concerned about what we eat between Christmas and New Years – when maybe we should be more concerned about what we eat between New Year's and Christmas?! ). And, as we say goodbye to family and friends, we say goodbye to one year and hello to another. Actually, for some, this might not be bittersweet after all. I have a good friend who claims 2008 was the worst year of his life, so, for him, looking forward to 2009 isn't so bad…
We get the first month of the year from Janus, a mythical king of early Rome circa 153 B.C.. Apparently, Janus was a two-face. Literally. He had one face looking behind him, and like the rest of us mere mortals, had another facing front. He was greatly admired for his ability to simultaneously look back on past events while looking forward to the future. This was a time when ancient Romans sought forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts with one another. And, because of their two-faced king and his unique skill set, the first list of new year's resolutions was born.
I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions anymore. I think they are overrated and set us up for failure. I've heard it said that we look forward to a new year for a new start on old habits. I know firsthand because I have notebooks filled with long lists of ambitious resolutions that rarely, if at all, were accomplished. Because, like many of us, I have suffered from the Janus Syndrome. Have you not heard of it? It's that dreaded condition where all we can do is look only at our past or our future while losing sight of what we have right in front of us: the present. What torment this is – to focus on the past – which we cannot change – and the future – which we cannot control.
Although I believe in new beginnings and find value in reflecting upon our past, I am thoroughly convinced the best place to focus our attention and energy is today. The here and now. It is all we have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is uncertain. That's not to say don't plan, don't dream or don't do progress. Planning, dreaming and progressing mean nothing unless we use the best resource available to us – our time today. After all, we build our tomorrows on our todays. If I were to take a guess, that's something Janus probably never understood.
For those who live by lists and accomplish everything on them, PLEASE share with us how you do it! For the rest of us, let's try something new for 2009. I would humbly suggest instead of making a long list of resolutions that will burn us out by February 8th (or thereabouts), we write down what we value most in life. And, from these values (family, friends, health, security, spirituality, etc.), we make sure we do something each day that supports one or all of those values. For instance, if we value health and fitness, we do something each day that supports this value. Maybe one day, it's running 3 miles; another day taking a walk with a friend and yet another…not going back for that second bowl of ice-cream, as I tend to do.
If one of your values is friendship, make it a point to do something each day for a friend. Send a note. Leave a message. Make them dinner. Or, perhaps you value using your brain more in 2009. Let's start by turning off the television! Or, limit yourself to how much you watch Did you know the average American watches 8 hours of TV a day?!. Turn off the "boob tube an hour earlier each evening and dedicate that hour to reading or some other mentally stimulating activity.
If we're going to write down one resolution and stick to it, let's make it this: stop dwelling in the past and stop fretting about the future. This is easier said than done, of course. But, really, with everything going on in the world right now all we have is today. Let's make the most of it. Because, ultimately, it's not what we DO or how long our list is that matters at the end of the year, but who we are.
On that, I'll close this one out with a quote from G.K. Chesterton:
"The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul".
Happy New Year!
Michael Albanese is a playwright, screenwriter and part-time jack-of-all-trades. A recent transplant to Los Angeles from New York, he loves, in no particular order, all things Italian, art, films, music, theatre, food, wine, etc. He drinks a lot of coffee and knows just enough about sports to get by. He has vast experience in the hospitality and service industries and at one point in life, wanted to be a dentist. He lives with his best friend, who happens to be his wife, and has a stuffed dog because he won't commit to getting a real one. There are a lot of other things to share, but it is his resolution in 2009 to talk less about himself.